I dance around vivid imagery and try to create sparks

Month: June, 2014

Im scared of love

I Lit a flame and watched it saunter around in the air

as I grabbed the last photo we had in the palms of my hand

I held the photo at the fire tip

and watched as remnants of our last photo disappear with every candle drip.

And every single memory we had comes rushing back

wave after wave, storm after storm

the days you held me close in your arms, when you told me you would ensure that I met no harm

the days you promised me forever, the kind of forever that would stretch on to infinity

and how could I also forget about the harsh days where our tongues lashed at each other

only to find ourselves later picking up the phone and saying our sorrys

You told me I was your flower and you, my sky

how you ensured the sun would shine on me and how the rain would wash all my weakness away

you told me about how my eyes glittered at the sight of flowers

pink roses, especially, you said they were my favourite

you told me about how you think you found the right one

and I remembered how badly I blushed when I heard that come out from the tender skin of your lips

and the kisses we had, the ones you planted on my neck

the ones our tongues eloped, the ones on my forehead

I really can’t forget it all

at least not for now

maybe in the future, I will

But really, I cant forget it now.

I thought we were unlike all other couples

the couples who were together solely due to loneliness

solely for a one night comfort

but here we are,

experiencing typhoons and floods

earthquakes and tsunamis

and here we stand,


And that is why I’m scared of love

Because you said you loved me. And you promised me forever.


Sucked out of worlds

Growing up, we were unconsciously sucked out and plunged into different worlds. Worlds that were divergent – worlds that might collide and implode once the distance between them is shortened. Some worlds were close to Utopia, close to the smell of laser cut grass, the smell of flower pollen in a dainty field. Other worlds, however, felt like iron knives and steel bars, stormy weather and cold glass.

When we popped out of our Mother’s stomachs, we were immediately thrown into a world of wonder and innocence. A world where everything and anything in our field of vision screamed unfamiliarity, peculiarity and bizarreness. A world where we could crawl around in gigantic diapers and scratch people’s faces even without knowing it. A world where the word ‘sex’ didn’t exist, heck, hardly any words existed. A world where we couldn’t worry about anything because we didn’t even know anything. Thankfully, more often than not, 2 pairs of mighty hands guided most of us through this world of extreme foolishness into the next world of inquisition and temporary happiness.

Now that we have picked up the basic understanding of speech, sight and sound, a whirlpool extends in our mind, compelling us to always wonder about the underlying base of theories and facts, stories and myths. It causes us to wonder about whether a cat really has nine lives, whether the rain arrives only when the sky is crying,  whether the world is as small as it seems or whether superman really exists. And it is also in this childlike world that many people found the most carefree blithe they could ever soak in in their life, for happiness only gets harder as one gets older and is sucked into worlds of tedium and pragmatism.

Many of us then grow up and get transported into the next world without even truly tasting the icing of the previous one. The Teenage World. Note that I didn’t use any word to describe this world, for this world is far too intricate to sum it up with a few main words.

The teenage world is like a crossroad with multiple paths leading away from it, a crossroad with access to many worlds – some nice and some not so. Some teenagers may get too subsumed in popularity, and others might find themselves with denied access to it. Indubitably, that’s where the first ugly line of society is marked – social segregation. The popular kids and the not so popular ones. The nerds and the social butterflies. The pretty ones and the ugly ones. The skinny ones and the plump ones. The white ones and the black ones. And I say screw all these defined lines, why can’t we live like we were children? Why can’t we have the maturity of a teenager(oh wait, are us teenagers even considered mature?) but the angelic soul of a child? The one who wouldn’t care as much about how everyone one else looks, the one with pure love for everyone no matter how they look or what they believe in.

And what’s more frightening is that these defined lines have brought out an extremely menacing side of many teenagers. Teenagers who smoke and party just to fit in; Teenagers who bully/cyberbully because they can’t accept people for who they are; Teenagers who commit suicide because they think life is a misery worse than death; Teenagers who cut themselves with razor sharp steel blades with the hope of temporarily reliving their anguish.

We don’t hope for the world to exist in such a form, but it is an inevitable fact that remains as it is and in generations to come.

Honestly, I am afraid. Very, very afraid. Afraid of the next world to come, the next one I will get thrown into.

I know the teenage world is one hell of a hard thing to manage, but I know the impending future looms even darker ahead.

And I wish you and me good luck.